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Monday, 4 July 2011


Thought the title might grab your attention I actually went to a lap dancing club on Saturday and even got paid to do it part of the job.I cant say I enjoyed it though, but the guy who I was filming will be enjoying his wives comments even less just wait till she shows him the video l.o.l.
now to the serious stuff giant Onions I now have 2 at 25" they are both quite tall so I am hoping they weigh in the region of 9 lbs Dan sent me a formula but it does not make a lot of sense to me so I just let him work it out.for any interested parties here is the formula in Dan speak.

Right then I'll explain the formula so even a spaz can understand it.
 Measure the Circumference in inches.
 Take this number and multiply it by 2.54 to get centimetres.
 Now take this figure and divide by 6.28  ( 2 x pi )
 then that gives you the Radius in cm.
 So 23"x2.54 =  58.42
 58.42 / 6.28 = 9.30 = your radius in cm.
 formula is 4/3   which is 4 divided by 3 (for fu**s sake !!) = 1.333333333333333333  you see its easier to write 4/3.
 4/3 x pi (pi=3.14)  x your radius cubed 
 cubed means radius x radius x radius  (for fu**s sake !!) (and pi is 3.14,not something you have with fu**ing chips !!)
 So 1.33333333x3.14x9.3x9.3x9.3 = 3370 grammes
 So your onion is roughly 3.37 kg or 7lb6oz.
 I should have been a Special Needs Teacher !

My quality Onions are now reaching 17" so using the formula above they are now nearly ready for lifting I intend to lift them as they reach the required size 
I have lifted the first Vento at 10.5" and when stripped it weighed 7  3/4 oz or 221g so it may be an idea to wait for the next ones to reach 10 and 3/4 inches in circumference to get me nearer to the target weight.

My show perfection Peas have their first flower I have continued to cut off all the side shoots and the plants are now about 3 foot high.

more to follow in the next few days


  1. Well,Blicky has pulled some of his at 15" according to his blog and he said they weigh 2lb.
    The formula comes out at 2lb 1oz so not far off.
    OK the onions are probably about 10% lighter once dried and tied but I'd rather be 10% underweight than 1% over.
    I reckon 17.5" will be about 3lb 4 oz which is bang on top weight for Harrogate 5 set and then lose a few ounces drying out should be about 3lb.
    I'd still pull one at 17" though just to be sure,cos if they're a tall bulb they'll weigh more.

  2. Wow Paul, them there onions look real impressive

  3. The onions are looking great, good luck with that formula!

  4. Hi, Pauline.

    Where I come from, lap dancing usually involves nubile, scantily clad, young things? I assume you've had the op since I saw you in May?

  5. Dan I will be pulling one in the next couple of days and will report back then
    Dammo Blicky I am pleased with the Onions just need to match some now
    Richard I am not even going to answer
    as for the Garlic question last week I just cut them down and staged them last year ill send you a photo not sure how to stage it properly.maybe smith will know

  6. I've not lifted my main batch of garlic yet, but if they're any good they might be an option for the AOV class. I've been planning for pot leeks and chillies, but garlic might be an option.

    Those Vento look stunning! What a difference the protection of a tunnel makes! Mine are distictly windswept, but catching up on size.